Feelings Are Meant to Be Felt.

Our feelings are the inner guide toward all that we yearn for. Before we can embrace the life of our dreams, we must first listen to our authentic selves calling from within. Feelings are meant to be felt.

I sat on my deck this morning and sobbed. I had been journaling and nothing specific in my writing connected to the tears, but the weight of the day in front of me felt heavy…. So the tears came. And I let them. I wasn’t aware of where they came from, but as I embraced and gave into my need to weep, the weight I was holding became heavier. I cried the kind of cry that comes with heaving shoulders and catchy breaths between the sobs. My nose ran and I sobbed. Words came and I spoke them to the emptiness in front of me. I spoke of the heavy I was holding and the fears behind them. I spoke the truth of my weariness between the hiccups and tears. I let it come. I hadn’t known it was there behind my plans and lists, my organized attack of the chaos in front of me. I hadn’t been listening.

How often had I held those tears in and looked for their origin rather than allowing myself to simply feel? How often had I looked for a solution to the weight rather than honoring the strain I felt holding it? We do that, we look for answers and justification, solutions and fixes. I know that what I needed this morning sitting on my deck was permission to feel what was there without judgement, or solutions. This getting to know my authentic self requires sitting in my space and allowing. Just allowing. We need that sacred space where we don’t have to explain or justify. We needn’t rationalize or understand. This is the extraordinary work of knowing ourselves fully and extending unconditional love. 

My invitation to you is simply to listen to your authentic self calling from within and allow your feelings. Well, NOT simple. Giving yourself permission to just feel what arrives for you without judgement or the inclination to investigate the origin, seek solutions or question their appropriateness, is just plain HARD. But you are so worth it! If you can allow yourself to feel and then name your emotion, you are wrapping yourself in love and acceptance. Resist the urge to move out of emotions, especially when they are uncomfortable or painful. Sit with whatever comes up for you and lovingly allow yourself to be.

Ok, ok! Let’s not miss the dose of real life that sits with this invitation. The reality is that we cannot always allow every emotion to come in full color exactly when we feel it. It isn’t always safe to lean into deep sadness or the intense flames of anger when we are at work or driving the soccer carpool. At times we feel things stirring in us, but we can’t give them time and space in that moment. What we can do is acknowledge what we are sensing, name it, and assure ourselves we will honor the emotion when it is safe and we can be available. Pushing pause is not stuffing it down, it is a promise to return and attend when it’s safe to do so.

While our first instinct may be to deny or talk ourselves out of the feelings we are experiencing, the only way toward knowing and loving our authentic selves is through. We cannot opt out, go around or bury what we hold inside. Fully honoring our experience might look like mine did with the intensity of deep sobs. Or, it might look like a joyful dance in the kitchen, stomping in puddles, or running through the yard with arms extended flying through the air. It might be screaming into your pillow, smashing your fists on your bed, or tenderly wrapping arms around your chest and holding yourself. Trust that whatever expression of your true emotion looks like, it is exactly as it should be. It is perfect.

 The challenge here is to breathe and know that your emotions, no matter how intense, will not take you under. Healing comes from permission to be exactly as we are, holding space for our feels and allowing them to be. Release may take more time than you want. One good cry may not allow you to move out of your sadness, grief or longing, but it will ease the grip. We are able to move through our painful or hard emotions when they have fully healed… and healing is not linear. Be patient and allow yourself to come back to emotions when they need to be attended to. This is the ebb and flow of emotional connection to ourselves. It allows us to fully access our experience and embrace a life of authenticity, joy and purpose.

You are worth it!