Healing Has its Own Timeline

Hello brave friends!

Welp…. This was supposed to be yet another lacrosse tournament weekend as the biggest fan and all around support person to my kick ass daughter, Grace, who loves nothing more than to rip it up on the field. I was prepped to see that fierce determination run wild in the New England autumn sun game after game… you all know I love this time with her and it has spun many a ‘Mini’ topic. Alas, it was not meant to be this weekend as Grace was hit HARD with a nasty bug that laid her out… completely, and wouldn’t let go.

In general my children do not regularly read my blog. Ok, I’m pretty sure unless I have pulled up a post and asked them to read it they don’t read it at all. Addison says she gets the glory of living the real thing, so why read about it. She’s pretty savvy… but I suspect one day they will each read about themselves and challenge my perspective. I look forward to those conversations. In this case, writing about Grace, I’ll forgo all the details that she would surely want me to skip… and just say the kid was SICK. She came home from school on Monday so droopy it looked like she was melting into the floor as she walked toward the couch. She was like ice cream in the sun. Her fever was 102, her head felt like it was splitting in half from the inside out and her throat was coated in shards of glass. She was SICK.

I dug into doing all the things moms do… both to comfort her and to drive out the illness. (Yes, we ruled out COVID… wow, there still are other illnesses out there!!) I am a great believer in boosting the immune system and fighting microscopic bugs with an array of herbs and natural approaches. So we hit it hard with everything we had. In addition to medicinal supplements, she took hot showers, did nasal flushes, drank both hot teas and cold slushies….and she slept and slept and slept. A trip to the doctor two days in revealed a nasty double ear infection and sinus infection. She was MISERABLE. With antibiotics in hand, we were assured she would be on the mend in 24 hours… nearly back to herself in two days…. Just in time for the tournament!! WIN!

Sooooo, yeah. It didn’t happen that way. At all. She continued with severe symptoms for what felt like FOREVER. Nothing we did helped. Periodically we could ease things a bit so she could sleep, but overall it was just awful. It happens that way sometimes. You just have to surrender and allow the time it takes. She was so angry that she was doing all the right things and it refused to let up. “WHY am I not getting better??” And then I saw her give in… she wilted into her pillow, sighed and closed her eyes. She stopped fighting and turned in toward the solace of letting go. I stayed close with tea and cold compresses and we snuggled together to let her body do the work she needed it to do. Letting go is hard.

And so, there is it. The connection to us all. In those moments when we are deeply taken by something we cannot control and we have done all we can do, we must allow for the work to take its time. This is a hard realization when we so desperately long to control, fix, deny and push through. We want to DO, and we want to hurry the process to avoid the pain and struggle of healing. We want to make it better for those around us and we want to ease our own suffering, but sometimes the work just takes its time.

Your Mindful Mini invitation this week is to hold space and allow healing to take the time it takes. When you are sick or struggling, resist the frustration of expected timelines. Your body, your soul, your heart will heal in the time it takes for YOU… no one else. There is no “right” way and you are not doing it “wrong”. Breathing into the pace you need will give the permission you need to honor your process. And while you do, surround yourself with the love, care, comfort and support you need to lean into getting stronger. Be tender with yourself and ask for softness from others. Let the work you have to do fall away, spit out any guilt you have for resting and release the grip of control you had trying to power through. Stop and rest. We are waiting to wrap you up and hold you. Allow for healing as Grace did laying in my arms, finally knowing it was what she needed. It was then that she began to feel better…bit by bit. We all need this permission to heal and we are so worth it!

Yours in heart,

Kelly Lynn Driscoll