“I’m bored!”, said no adult ever.

Let’s see if any of you can relate to this…

“I’m bored”, my daughter stood in front of me with an expectant look on her face and stared at me waiting for a reply.

“Mom! I said, I’m bored. I have nothing to do.”

I stared back at her while a flurry of thoughts ran through my mind. Seriously? You’re bored? I couldn’t fathom the thought and we were only a week into summer vacation. I looked around the room and saw at least ten different things she could do and imagined ten more things she could get into outside. I was irritated that after listening to her groan and complain for months during the school year that now she had some unstructured time… she was bored. I also felt a tinge of envy. When had I last felt bored? When was the last time I thought, “I have nothing to do?”

I thought back to my summers as a kid. Although I went to a week of sleep away camp and our family went camping for a week… the rest of the summer was up to me. I vividly recall being bored… and then I remember climbing on my bike and riding around the neighborhood looking for my other bored friends. I would climb trees, make forts, build fairy houses when I couldn’t find a buddy. When I located a co-conspirator, we would pick flowers and sell them door to door, set up a lemonade stand or put on a play in the yard. Saying this to you now, I realize I have arrived at the age when I say to the younger generation, “When I was a kid…” and look back with nostalgia. I have mixed feelings about this… but mostly I feel a deep connection to my grandparents and the stories they shared with me that started the same way… but that’s a conversation for another time.

I was thinking about this annual conversation I would have with my girls when they were in elementary school. Now that they are teenagers it looks a little different… as I walk into my middle daughter’s room on a summer Saturday afternoon to find her scrolling her phone while laying in bed. Although she doesn’t tend to point to boredom, she will tell me she has nothing to do, without looking up from TikTok. I have the same thoughts standing there in her doorway that I had when she was younger. Looking at the stack of books on her bedside table, the skateboard in the corner and her lacrosse stick leaning against the wall, I can imagine ten things she can do instead of endless screen scrolling, especially now that she has her license and can drive. She looks up at me standing there and without saying it, I know she is bored.

Walking back down the hall I have the same feelings of irritation and envy. I want her to get up and make something of her day instead of gluing herself to social media. I am also envious of her as she lays in bed doing “nothing” and I imagine what it must be like to feel like to have “nothing” to do. I look around the house and see a million unfinished projects and I can literally feel the emotional weight of my ‘to do’ list. There are ALWAYS things I should be doing. I will never be bored like that again and I am sad and frustrated at the thought. So why do I have such a hard time allowing my daughter to be bored? If I know the value and long for the freedom it suggests, why do I want to create a ‘to do’ list for my daughter and march back into her room and tell her to do something productive?

Ok, ok…so what is the point here? What’s the lesson and invitation? We know that boredom is the place where creativity and innovation lay. That when we step away from the constant scheduling and productivity, our brains actually wake up and get curious. We want to build our way out of boredom into something interesting and fulfilling. We get curious and creative. We also know that ditching the endless ‘to-do’ list and allowing for rest without an alarm set to signify we’ve had our share creates real recovery. So what can we take from the boredom that comes from letting go?

So, your Mindful Mini invitation this week is a two-for. First, If you are a parent, I invite you to resist solving your kids boredom and allow them to sit with themselves until creativity and innovation step in. Set screen free time and send them outside or to a space they can look around and make something up. This is SO FREAKING hard, because most of our kids have grown up with constant entertainment, so sitting with “nothing” to do and getting curious may be a new experience. Allow it!

Secondly, allow yourself the same gift. Set aside the to do list and set some boundaries with time that open up opportunities for boredom. Seems impossible, right? I know, I feel that way too. When I take away the list and obligations, I’m not sure what to do with myself and it’s hard to sit with that. Honestly, I don’t last long… but I’m getting better at it. This is the place for my dreams and for allowing myself to wonder. Some really wonderful things have come from it too… I feel more rested and I indulge creativity that usually feels frivolous. It’s magnificent! So, as we head into the heat of summer, set some time aside to get bored! See what happens and get curious! Let me know what comes up for you! I can’t wait to hear about it! You are so worth it!

Yours in heart

Kelly Driscoll