SLOW DOWN

Hello gorgeous friend!

Ahhh.. so nice to be together again! I’ve been feeling that feeling a lot over the past few weeks as I have slowed down and taken time to connect with people. Given my lopsided, one armed, healing from surgery status, I am leaning (pun intended) into the help that has been offered… and welcoming people in to love and support me. This has meant drop ins and meal deliveries that bring with it people I don’t normally see, on say, a Tuesday night. It has been wonderful! I also took last week off from the “Mini” scene and allowed not only my shoulder to rest, but my brain as well. Thank you for extending grace.

As I get to almost three weeks post op, I am feeling MUCH better and have been eager to get back out there and DO things. I have the energy and motivation… I am SOLID! The thing is, I still don’t have full use of my right arm. I’m at about 20% use… so pretty much still a one hander.. Which, if you recall, is my right arm. As a heavily right side dominant human, this means it is hysterical to watch me try to do just about anything with my left hand. Truly comical! So… I have been forced, and I say it lovingly, FORCED, to slow down. I can do most things independently, it just takes me three times as long to get anything done.

And so I find myself, at the holidays, slowly making my way through all the things one does to prepare. S L O W L Y is an understatement. Each morning for the past three post Thanksgiving days I have gotten up with a really long list of things to get done… and all the inspired optimism of a woman who truly believes. I usually hit 11:00 am having managed to make and eat breakfast, shower, get dressed… and feel a sense of accomplishment AND also pure exasperation. It is nearly afternoon before I can actually start to do anything other than keep myself alive and clean. At that point I realize I need to adjust my expectations, ask for help and/or give up. And so I have.

What I have found in the past weeks is a giving in to a slower pace and an acceptance that it is ok to move gently through my day. It has taken time, for sure… to accept I cannot do certain things and that is ok… they likely don’t really need doing. I have had to ask for help… out loud… over and over again… because no matter how hard I try to figure out a way, I simply cannot put my hair in a ponytail with one hand. Can’t be done. And as I have let go, accepted, and asked for help… I have found an unexpected surrender that feels a lot like freedom. The things I have exhausted myself for in years past, because I could, went undone this year, because I literally couldn’t. And let me tell you how deep the sigh was when I let go of the expectation and the judgment behind it. There were actual tears.

I wanted to be more prepared before the surgery, with my holiday shopping done, gifts wrapped, cards addressed… yet those dreams were the first to go. And then the idea that, sure I can do all this one handed, fell apart with the glacial pace of my every move and only 24 hours in a day. No, you can’t get it all done. With each day my list to accomplish has become shorter, more meaningful and more realistic… and I became calmer and more relaxed. So, here we are, heading into December and my list is at an all time low. I have already crossed off things I know don’t add to my joy and I’ve let go of a little more each day. I have added time with my people… in which we all contribute to creating the magic instead of my taking it all on myself. I am slowing down and it feels pretty damn good!

So there it is, your Mindful Mini invitation this week, slow the heck down! You’ve thought about it a million times and you vow to do it each year, I know you do! So, DO IT. You really don’t need surgery to literally tie one hand behind your back to MAKE you surrender. You have the power to let go, adjust expectations and ask for help. Instead of racing through six things, slowly enjoy doing just three. It can be the slow mediation of folding laundry or the giggles of making cookies with your kids when doing it yourself would be so much faster. SLOW THE HECK DOWN!! What you gain will be infinitely greater than what you lose and I promise it will be worth it… and YOU are sooo worth it!

Yours in heart,

Kelly Lynn Driscoll