How can I help?

Hello incredible friend!

I have been watching this show on Netflix called, New Amsterdam. It’s a show about the oldest public hospital in the country located in New York City and all the people that work there. It’s not a new show… it’s been around since… but I have only recently settled into watching. Like many of you, when I feel stressed beyond my current ability to function, my go to detachment strategy is binging a tv show. I know that it’s me needing to step out of my reality and step into, or rather observe, the reality of others. I love the variety of characters in this show, each navigating and struggling in the ways I sometimes do. The show tackles heavy issues in such a thoughtful and human way, I feel soothed by the resolution that’s reached at the end of each episode. It’s not always a happy ending, which I appreciate. Yet, there is always a way forward and that feels hopeful.

The lead character, a Medical Director named Max, has a guiding phrase that hooked me on episode one. No matter what he faces, regardless of the enormity of the challenge, he asks, “How can I help?”

How can I help?

This feels like soothing balm. Three words. Three words that say, “I’m here. I see you. What do you need? Let me hear your voice. You are in control. I’ve got you.” Three words that signal you are not alone and you do not need to carry all the weight of your challenge by yourself.

How can I help?

The world feels extra fragile right now and the challenges we are facing as humans feel incredibly heavy. I have struggled in the past week to comprehend the horrific events in Israel and Palestine. Feeling this weight and the helplessness that comes with not knowing what to do, I found myself needing a moment to shut down. When my heart and head couldn’t make sense of the world and I needed to set it down for a moment, I flopped on the couch and pressed play on the next episode of New Amsterdam. There he was, Max, in the face of tragedy asking the question that I was feeling inside.

How can I help?

So, I took this question and made it the narrative I play instead of embracing the hopelessness that was filling me. How can I help? I ask it figuratively and find the tiny answer that tips the scale toward kindness and compassion. I let the car waiting to turn into heavy traffic go in front of me, I open the door for the person going into the store and then let them go in line before me, I make eye contact with a sweet smile and say hello to everyone I pass, I pay for the person behind me at the coffee shop and I leave muffins for my neighbor. I write a card and leave it for my mail carrier and I offer forgiveness to the person who cuts me off on the highway.

How does that help you ask? All of us need more kindness, compassion, joy, understanding, time, and companionship. Yet, when asked, “How can I help”, most of us will dismiss the offer, hoist our heavy burden higher on our shoulders and move on. We resist help. So, I offer it freely in small ways that are like seeds that will grow and grow and grow.

That is your mindful Mini invitation this Monday. How can I help? It’s not figurative or hypothetical. How can I help? What needs more effort than you have right now and how can I help? Resist dismissing the question and armoring up. How can I help? What would bring greater ease? It’s ok if it feels unattainable, too big, embarrassing or is nothing I can possibly help with. How can I help? Let the answer bubble up. Hear it and give it voice. How can I help? Now hit reply and send it to me! The point isn’t that I will solve all your problems or create a miracle in a place there is no answer. The point is you have shared the burden and you are not alone. You have accepted kindness, compassion and loving support. How can I help?

Now, take that out into the world with you! Let that narrative ring in your head as you prepare for your day, interact with your family, friends and colleagues. Open doors, smile, let others go in front of you, forgive, encourage, spread hope and humanity, offer LOVE! It is all there in those three words. How can I help? We so desperately need the help, we do!! We need it, we are worth it and we deserve it!

Yours in heart,

Kelly Driscoll