Lead With Love

Beautiful friends,

I don’t know what the weather looks like where you are this morning, but it is dreary and wet outside my window. I find that these types of days create a desire in me to pull in, an urge to rest and reflect. It can be hard to lean into this place on a Monday when the week calls and responsibilities beckon. Yet today, I also feel the lingering emotions of a weekend in which our nation looked back to a painful time in our lives, twenty years ago, when our world, our sense of safety and our hearts were ripped wide open. Recalling where I was and reflecting on the lessons of 9/11 and where we are twenty years later took up a lot of space, as it should. I find myself needing to sit with that a bit longer on this Monday morning when the clouds have provided the perfect backdrop for a bit more thoughtfulness. 

On Saturday I posted on Facebook about Leading With Love. In the face of unimaginable loss and grief, that morphs into anger, rage and a desire to retaliate, I urged us all to lead with love. I also said that leading with love does not mean we forget. Leading with love does not mean we must forgive. Leading with love means we refuse to perpetuate the cycle of hate that leads to dehumanizing and suffering. Leading with love means we refuse to lose our humanity and respond with destruction. Leading with love means we bravely stand up and choose to stay in our values while resisting the urge to embody the same venom and hatred used to justify the actions of 9/11. We fight. We honor. We are fierce. We refuse to bend. We lead with love. We remember. In deep appreciation of the sacrifice of so many twenty years ago, and honoring the loss, grief and heartbreak, I will fight, stand fierce, refuse to bend and lead with love. 

Now, twenty years later, I see our world more divided than ever before. We are moving from a place of uncertainty, fear and scarcity. We are disconnected. We are scared. It is driving us to lose focus on our common humanity and the ability to listen. Fear blinds us and when allowed to settle in our soul, it will lie to us, tempting us with the promise of righteousness, honor and safety. It takes hold and we start to lose the ability to see humans behind the eyes of those we disagree with. Dehumanization is at the root of every atrocity committed by humans against humans. And while we grieve our losses and the losses of the world, we are lured to embody the very toxin that drove those who attacked us. Hate. It is a perpetual cycle brilliantly designed to keep us divided and alone.

I see it as no mistake that as I write this, the sky outside my window has turned blue. The rain has passed. The thunder that raged hours ago and the lightning that cut through the dark sky is gone. The clouds have made way for sun and healing. It is from this place that I invite you to lead with love. It is probably the most challenging invitation to date. Lead from a place of common humanity, and resist with vigilance the desire to retaliate against those who have hurt you. If for no other reason than a bold commitment to breaking the cycle that keeps us afraid, isolated and alone. Be brave. Refuse to perpetuate hate and strike out with the venom of destruction. Lead with love. 

We are all so very worth it.

Yours in heart,

Kelly Lynn Driscoll